STANANDLOU MARKETING/ADVERTISING

The gift-wrapping job that new STANANDLOU Account Service and Media Service hire, Danica Badurina, did today was absolutely incredible.

I bought a large piece of embossed paper from Texas Art Supply (it was on-sale for a buck) yesterday in which to wrap two T-Shirts I got for my best friend who is getting engaged today: 8/8/08 at 8:08 pm. He’s Chinese, you see, and the number eight has some spiritual significance, as seen in the opening of the Beijing Games.

I had originally planned on making a shirt myself with iron-on letters, if they even still make that kind of stuff, but then I had an idea. Good old creative production agency 808, Inc. sells some very well designed shirts, and they seemed appropriate. Very appropriate. I called up Robert Campbell, the Creative Director over there, and he set me up with two shirts. They have two little owls joined together at the ass and “808” underneath. Perfect.

Back to the real story.

With the aforementioned piece of large, embossed paper, I was simply going to roll up the shirts and tie it up with a piece of robin’s egg-blue ribbon that I swiped from my mom’s sewing room on my way to work. (Yes, I still currently live at home. Think what you want. I have good reason.) I asked Kate and Tiffany if they could tie a nice bow, because all girls are born with, or are taught early on, how to make nice bows and wrap the hell out of presents. I still can’t really do it — the ends get all messed up. Kate told me to ask Danica to do it. She’s really good at it, Kate says. I was skeptical.

I quickly went to Danica’s office where I found her at the computer wearing her ubiquitous scarf. She is always cold. I pity her. I showed her my tube-package-thing. “Ooh, that is so unattractive,” she said in her lovely Latin voice. Oh, how I love the Latin accent, “You cannot give that as a present. I will take care of it.” And my shirts, my ribbon and my paper tube were whisked away.

An hour later I returned to my office (I had to play a few games of foosball) to find something magnificent, something odd, something abstract — my present. What was once a large piece of embossed paper, some stolen ribbon and another business’ promotional material, had become a stunning objet d’art. I knew immediately that my friend and his soon-to-be-fiancé would love it and that all of their friends would know how thoughtful I am, and then, of course, question my sexual preferences.

There must be some sheik in Dubai, dripping in Euros, who would erect a building modeled after Danica’s design. I will not rest until my friend’s engagement present dots the desert horizon of that Emirate city-state!

And if any of you want Danica to wrap your presents for you, call her at STANANDLOU. 713.683.8000. Her name is pronounced DAN-IT-SA. I don’t know what she’ll charge and I haven’t figured out what I will charge as her creative agent. Just know it’ll be a damn fine-looking present.